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Have a laugh: Lone Ranger and Tonto
Forums > Have a laugh > Lone Ranger and Tonto (4 messages)
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heels 4 2
Member Profile
Posts: |
Fri, Sep 14, 2007 07:21:05
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Lone Ranger and Tonto went out hunting for buffalo one morning and after hours of not finding anything, Lone Ranger asked Tonto to do his "ear to the ground trick"
Tonto got off his horse and put his ear to the ground, as he did that, Tonto said "Buffalo cum, Buffalo cum"
Lone Ranger looked around but didn't see any buffalo. He asked:
"How can you tell buffalo are coming?"
Tonto kept repeating "Buffalo cum, buffalo cum"
Finally Lone Ranger got on his horse and stood while looking around, still not seeing anything. Asked Tonto again"How can you tell buffalo are coming?"
Tonto looked up, put his finger to his ear and said; "cause ear is sticky"!!
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ultraZ
Premium Member
Posts: 179 |
Sat, Oct 20, 2007 00:25:38
| Another Lone Ranger and Tonto joke... |
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The Lone Ranger gets captured by indians and is going to be killed, but since he is THE LONE RANGER... the indians give him 3 wishes. 1 wish per night until they kill him. He says to the indians okay.
So the first night, they ask him for his first wish.
He says, I want to speak to me horse.
The indians look at each other and say, "OK".
The LR whispers into Tonto's ear and Tonto runs off. A couple of hours go by before he returns. When he does, he has the most beautiful blond on his back with abnormally large breasts. The blond goes into the LR's prison tee-pee and the have sex.
On the second night....
His wish was to speak to his horse again. He whispers into his ear and off Tonto goes. Hours pass before he comes back. This time with the most beautiful brunette he's even seen and also had large breasts. She spends the night with the LR.
On the 3rd night, the LR again asks to speak to his horse. He goes off and comes back with the most beautiful red-head he's ever seen with the largest breasts he's ever since. The indians are saying to each other," WOW! His horse really his the best!"
The LR walks up to Tonto and grabs him by both ears and says," Listen you asshole!!! I said a POSSE!!! NOT PUSSY!!!
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wedge-lover
Member Profile
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Tue, Oct 23, 2007 00:11:05 |
The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding across the plains one day, when Tonto suddenly cocked his ear at a passing falcoln's cry. "Kemosabe... Apache to East!" he whispered.
The Lone Ranger looked to his faithful companion. "What do we do?"
Tonto pondered a moment. "We ride West!"
After riding a short while, Tonto again paused, searching the horizon with his eagle-sharp eyes. "Kemosabe... Apache to West!"
The Masked Man looked once again at his friend. "What should we do?"
Tonto scratched his head in thought. "We ride North!"
After a brief ride, Tonto stopped to scent the breeze. "Kemosabe... Apache to North!"
"What do we do now?" his companion asked.
Without hesitation, Tonto replied, "We ride South!"
Within minutes, Tonto reigned in his horse and dropped to the ground. Placing his ear to the earth, he listened intently. "Kemosabe... Apache to South!"
Worried, the Lone One asked him, "NOW what do we do?"
Tonto thought hard for a moment, his eyes squinting in concentration. Then his face lit up. "What do you mean "WE", White Man?"
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wedge-lover
Member Profile
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Tue, Oct 23, 2007 00:15:52
| Lone Ranger and Tonto Camping |
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The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"
Put your ad here!
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?"
"You dumber than buffalo crap. Someone stole the tent."
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