Dr Jones
Premium Member
Posts: 258 |
Sat, Mar 27, 2010 20:53:17
| Did shoe sex ruin your 'normal' sex life? |
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My shoe thing has all but destroyed my chance of a 'normal' sex life (normal, IMHO = penetrative sex with a woman). Since I was young the focus of my sexual urges are ladies' shoes (black patent heels for preference!). My whole sexuality is focussed on screwing - or masturbating - on/with shoes.
This is so deeply engraied in me that I find it sometimes difficult to achieve the erection with Mrs Jones and 'normal' sex is often impossible. I honestly feel 'normal' sex with any woman would be v v difficult. I've taken counselling (even tho I'm a Dr) but to no avail.
I wonder how many more gentlemen - or ladies - have had a similar experience?
Somehow, now in middle age, I can't see it ever being sorted out.
(A rather sad) Dr Jones.
:-((
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riftzone
Member Profile
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Sat, Mar 27, 2010 21:35:38
| really interesting subject |
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Got to say normal shoeless sex does not have the same appeal once you have had the other. I would still enjoy it but not anywhere near as much as i would do with shoes involved.
In the end i would think most people with a sexual fetish would feel the same way . If sex with them is great then does it really matter if you like your lady to wear them if shes happy to.
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Shoeboi
Premium Member
Posts: 318 |
Mon, Mar 29, 2010 01:20:29 |
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Nope just made it better!!!!
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Neil
Site Assistant
Posts: 67 |
Mon, Mar 29, 2010 01:54:52
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I would have to say the term "ruined" is a bit strong. I will say, though, that sex WITH shoes present is much more satisfying.
Lets face it: Guys are easy. Something gets us hard, then something keeps us hard long enough to get a round off, then we get soft. Any woman who knows how the equipment operates can get a guy to the finish line. With all the special medications around these days - guys have a fighting chance to either stick around longer or come back swinging for round two or three. "I faked my orgasm" just isn't a guy's report.
Ahhh - but a lady in heels, for those of us with the fetish, can get us there and keep us there longer. A WOMAN who KNOWS and ENCOURAGES the fetish - who ENJOYS it with us: So much the better.
So is sex without high heels around ruined? Most likely not. My dad used to say there was no such thing as "bad sex" (for a guy). If there are no heels around, it will "happen". If the man has to ASK the lady to put heels on for him to enjoy, it works, but it still just feels somewhat short.
Speaking personally, I am in no position to be choosy - if the wife is feeling receptive (bloody seldom), I am not likely to "not feel like it". But I will say that sex - OK, "love making" - feels like there is something missing without my lady in heels. It remains something I yearn for.
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asos4
Premium Member
Posts: 16 |
Mon, Mar 29, 2010 10:09:15
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I just cum in shoes when I'm not with my girlfriend, although I do like her to wear heels in bed for me, but the thought of getting inside her pussy gets me hard and that can happen when I'm on the phone to her and I'm still hard while I'm running around to her!! lol.
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4inches
Premium Member
Posts: 22 |
Mon, Mar 29, 2010 13:03:49
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not at all, my wife wears them when I like it :-)
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love_me
Premium Member
Posts: 63 |
Mon, Mar 29, 2010 13:57:29 |
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Dr Jones, did the fetish hit you so bad that you prefer screwing schoes over screwing your lady? Most of the answering posts treat the problem of men only wanting to screw their ladies with heels on, but your post seems to say you do not only use the heels to get you hard, but it is the heels you want to screw, not the lady?
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sluttyheels
Member Profile
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Tue, Mar 30, 2010 18:55:25 |
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im surprised at this thread after reading your profile and the comments underneath you pictures... is Mrs Jones noticing something amiss?
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aresmanjr
Member Profile
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Tue, Mar 30, 2010 20:13:01 |
Hello Dr. Jones,
Back in the Happy Days, my wife wore incredibly slutty/sexy outfits that served to magnify the standard sexual experience ten fold. We used shoe and stocking sex as a prelude and as an intermission activity between fuck sessions. Although I love to cum on her heels, I suppressed the activity to some degree so that she wouldn't get the idea that I was in love with the shoes.
You are in danger of your wife getting this idea. Please believe me when I say that when a lady thinks you are too fixated on the shoes, she may push the Big Red Button and shut everything down. If this happens, you will have to take your fetish underground once again. Like a gay guy going back into the closet, this is no fun.
Please work with your wife to keep her away from the Button of Doom. Unlike me, you still have a chance.
John
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peregrin
Premium Member
Posts: 18 |
Thu, Apr 01, 2010 14:04:36
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Not at all it has helped. Wife wears sexy shoes whenever I ask her to and likes to join in my fetish. She knows how men react to women in heels and loves to show hers off which is exciting for the both of us.
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keet_in_heels
Premium Member
Posts: 164 |
Thu, Apr 01, 2010 21:43:02 |
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No just about everything else tries to though. Lets face it anyone who says they have no sexual fetish has no sexual anything probably. If the lady likes what can only be termed as a good time without being crude then she may as well wear a pair of sexy shoes for her partner its not like asking for the moon is it! My partner likes to have sex with other guys although rather infrequently these days I as heck dont mind in fact I like her to as long as she is wearing sexy shoes and other kit as well there are even some pics on my profile although clipped from vids. Any ways if there is a problem is not a good idea to talk it through with your partner (Thats if you can get a word edgeways of course)
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Dr Jones
Premium Member
Posts: 258 |
Mon, Apr 05, 2010 15:32:46
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Love_Me and Sluttyheels, YES!
Love_Me.
As a young man terribly short on self confidence I turned to screwing heels (an interest that began before / around puberty). I spent my formative years aquiring shoes and having sex with them. It got to the point where a female took no part except as a fantasy. The 'real' woman was replaced almost completely by heels and a fantasy woman. I couldn't, therefore, interact with a woman for sex at all cos I never learned how to. I didn't lose my cherrry til I was 22!!!!! My 'normal' sex life was therefore ruined. I can masturbate but I 99% get a **hard-off** for penetrative sex.
Sluttyheels.
Of course! Yes, Mrs Jones noticed something amiss right from the start (we are middle aged ppl but only recently married). If fact I told her at the start I'd 'issues'; I was worried she might dump me if I was having a bit of trouble! However, as opposed to my previous wife - of 30 years - the current Mrs Jones is wonderfully supportive.
All I noted with my pics, etc, is true. What I didn't say to the wider world (but now have!) was the screaming heartache that the 40 years of this problem has created for me. Nor did I divulge the many hours spent with sexual healing counsellors, and doctors who found me Testosterone defficient. The inevitable depression is being treated by pills that reduce / stop the sex drive ... and so the circle turns.
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Dr Jones
Premium Member
Posts: 258 |
Mon, Apr 05, 2010 15:47:29
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The red panic button doesn't exist! We just adapt. If I can't give it her she'll use the Rabbit and we're both quite happy about that.
We have a sort-of 'open' view and I've told her that she's more than welcome to seek the occasional gentleman-friend if she felt that would be good cos I was unable! In return, she's told me I can take the occasional lady-friend because she wants to give me the good times I've missed out on all these years. Neither of us has as yet. So there's a consentual trust on this matter.
Of course, the likely reality for me is that dreadful hard-off with any lady friend.
The other thing, is that my sex life was about w*nking as well as screwing shoes. So I've had to suppress those desires to try to have normal sex. But it aint working out too well...
And so the circle turns...
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aresmanjr
Member Profile
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Mon, Apr 05, 2010 20:07:11 |
I think you will do fine. An understanding lady is a rare commodity these days, and with her help, you should adapt well. Don't discount Viagra and Cialis!
John
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srotoy
Member Profile
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Mon, Apr 05, 2010 20:18:38
| I have to say ruining your life is up to you |
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I have always had a shoe fetish and decided I wanted to integrate it into a normal life. You can - you just have to work a little harder and move slowly but date openminded women. I hope this site will link to my woprk, but I have posted a very helpfull site for addressing this issue. It is titled shoefetish-bootfetish.com. i wish you the best, I undertsnad, there are a lot of times it is very hard not to do shoes shoes. however, I have learend how to give her oral sex with shoes and it turns me on and her on. Some times it turns her on so much she takes a shoe off her foot and just does me with the shoe. It is the joy of all worlds.
e
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Dr Jones
Premium Member
Posts: 258 |
Mon, Apr 05, 2010 21:58:42 |
Thanks for the support, John. Mrs Jones is brill ... may not be the blonde bombshell men want / claim they want but her understanding is second to none. Yes, we will do fine.
Btw, is that you in red heels and a denim (?) skirt? Lovely arse: never thought I'd get aroused by a guy in heels, etc. Just shows you,. eh?
Dr J.
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aresmanjr
Member Profile
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Tue, Apr 06, 2010 20:09:47 |
No, that is my formerly hot wife on the tracks in 1998. After the photo shoot, we went to the video store and she really created a stir with those legs. Some guys do have really nice legs, and the best part is that they have the mind of a man, which is much easier to deal with.
Looks, as you have found out are not as important as attitude. I actually envy your position. Enjoy your hot wife and make her happy.
John
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Dr Jones
Premium Member
Posts: 258 |
Wed, Apr 07, 2010 09:41:26
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Yes, I think I read about your issue on another thread. Were you not the guy who took a few snaps of another lady and your wife 'shut down'? I did wonder during reading whether she might want to find a way back to her previous sex sessions but didn't know how to without losing face? Eventually minds become entrenched, don't they? None of my biz, I suppose, but that did cross my mind!
Mrs Jones is certainly hot - calls herself, "a dirty, kinky bitch." She, too, turns heads. She's a pair of over the knee blk patent spikey heel+toe boots that she wears when we go to the pub, etc. One lady there told me my wife looked 'so hot in those boots'. Unfortunately the lady wasn't bisexual; unfortunately, that was, because Mrs Jones fancies her!
If there are nice shoes being worn (say) around town she'll always point them out for me with a wink and a smile saying, 'I bet you'd like to f*ck her shoes ... bet u'd like to f*ck her, too?' Or if I'm upstairs and there's a woman wearing sexy heels on TV she'll call me down to see them.
I suppose that is quite an enviable position, isn't it?
Best.
Dr J
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drmgero
Premium Member
Posts: 103 |
Thu, Apr 08, 2010 03:29:29 |
I think it is more like and add-on to regular sex.
However, when regular sex is not available, shoe sex is the thing! ;)
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cuminshoe
Premium Member
Posts: 39 |
Sat, Apr 10, 2010 10:03:34 |
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drmgero I agree...for me it's more of a add-on. I've never let it interfere with my normal sex. Shoe sex comes in handy when my girlfriend isn't in the mood for normal sex or when she's not at home. Sometimes I'll get horny from seeing a female wearing shoes I like or from just seeing my girlfriend's shoes laying on the floor. Those are the most times I get aroused by women's footwear and need to fuck a shoe.
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aresmanjr
Member Profile
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Sun, Apr 11, 2010 18:56:44 |
Yes, Dr. Jones, you are a very fortunate man as long as your hot wife doesn't undergo a radical transformation. Funny you mention the boots! My wife surprised me by wearing her 5" thigh boots out to a local club and the waitress went wild over them! Ah memories. She used to love dancing on the small stage in a small simulated jail cell and would backflip out when finished showing all of her FF stockings. I would catch her and the crowd loved it.
Marriage counseling has failed to bring her back and my minister (female) advised me to remain myself and not change, so I've waited for my hot wife to return for ten years.
John
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Dr Jones
Premium Member
Posts: 258 |
Tue, Apr 13, 2010 17:46:31 |
The general opinion appears to be that guys enjoy norman sexual activity, and shoes, etc, is a bonus.
But my sexual focus is not the woman as such, it's a fantasy of the woman (+ shoes, pvc clothes, whatever).
I worked with a guy who could not cum at all by masturbation: he needed to screw a woman for a cum. I'm the opposite. I can't (usually) cum with a woman, I need my hand! Hmm, yes, that's about the shape of it I think>
Dr J
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h8hlzfetish
Member Profile
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Tue, Apr 13, 2010 21:28:35
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I have a similar problem. she has to wear heels in bed in order for me to cum, otherwise, i dont enjoy it as much. sometime it takes me forever to cum. I guess that would be a plus for a female.
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keet_in_heels
Premium Member
Posts: 164 |
Wed, Apr 14, 2010 21:41:55
| Well it is a problem if you think it is |
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I like to wear heels as well as my partner wearing them. Straight sex is pretty borring really. Think about this how many times have you had sex with someone? How many times with the same one? Yep a lot, the longer you have lived the more no doubt. Watched a blue movie seen one you have probably seen a hundred or more of the same gets borring. Add sparkle like cake no icing no sparkle no cream on strawberries no sparkle. Why does everyone have to get hung up on whats the norm? Norm is what you yes YOU what YOU want as norm not every other Tom Dick or Harriet thinks or wants. And last and not least if two or more people enjoy their norm to-gether then what the heck does it matter, nine times out of ten the other person if they dont agree with what YOU want are they thinking about what the neabours would say?
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