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The shoe closet - Shoejobs Footjobs Shoe Bukkake Shoefucking: Are We Sick?
Forums > The shoe closet - Shoejobs Footjobs Shoe Bukkake Shoefucking > Are We Sick? (9 messages)
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aresmanjr
Member Profile
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Tue, Mar 23, 2010 20:59:25
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I say no, but consider my dilemma. My wife used to enjoy my stocking and high heel fetish by always showcasing her legs in fine FF stockings and 5" pumps or sandals. She made many of her dresses to emphasize her legs and made her own
heavy 6-strap garter belts to hold her stockings nice and tight. Her wedding dress was just long enough to cover the top of her stockings, which were beige FF glimmer stockings with the contrasting seam. She wore my favorite white patent 5" cross strap pumps. As part of the ring ceremony, she asked me to kneel as she put her foot on my high knee and transfer her anklet from right to left ankle. WOW!
When she found out that I had taken photos of another woman in high heel boots, she underwent a fundamental change. Although most men love a lady in stockings and heels, my fetish was deemed unhealthy. No more dressing up, no more fun sex, sex only in the bedroom at certain times, only two positions, and eye contact at all times. Predictably, our sex life died under the burden of such regulation.
Although the point is irrelevant, as I have Lou Gehrig's disease, I do wonder why a woman would commit sexual suicide after years of enjoying all things sexual?
John
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love_me
Premium Member
Posts: 63 |
Tue, Mar 23, 2010 21:44:04 |
This must be part of the "is it me or my shoes" thing. It might go as far as her being jelous of her own shoes/stockings/legs/feet.
My sympathies. I don't think I could live with a person who thinks my sexual preferences are unhealthy. My wife doesn't know about all facets of my fetish, but not having told her is different to having told and met subsequent disagreement.
Then again, if your wife really thinks that you are sick, she would have divorced you, wouldn't she? She might have a problem with herself / with her own sexuality that might be far greater than her suspected disguise or disapprovement of yours. She must realized that if she doesn't show off for you, your urge do view other women in heels just has to increase. If she still doesn't try to be attractive to you to stop you from watching others, it is HER who is sufferencing and it is HER who needs help!
Talk to her and sort it out!
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nikki heels
Premium Member
Posts: 10 |
Wed, Mar 24, 2010 16:23:12
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I think the reason your wife reacted the way she did, although she does seem to have had a particularly strong reaction, was because she saw your high heel and stocking fetish as something personal that was only between you and her. You have to remember that most women in a commited relationship see sex differently to men to them it is a lot more personal and when fetish's are involved probably more so. I think it is a trust thing and that by taking a photo of another woman hin heels she feels you have been unfaithfull. As someone else has said try talking to her again. Have you appologised?
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aresmanjr
Member Profile
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Wed, Mar 24, 2010 20:49:25 |
Love_Me, you accurately assess the problem. Knowing that you cannot marry and hope to change a person, I went to great effort to make sure she was open minded and supportive of my fetish. She knew of my Leg Show magazine collection from 1991, my videos, and my collection of women who had posed in the past. She even sent some of her photos to Leg Show as a surprise.
I've tried to explain that her radical actions work against the relationship, hurting both of us. When she stopped dressing up and placed harsh restrictions on the sexual activity, I felt like a steam engine with all the valves closed. The pressure is terrible.
My salvation is the ability to live in the past and view sites like this. I can't leave because of my medical condition. Perhaps in the future, the introduction of cybernetic female life forms will make life more enjoyable for men with the stocking and high heel fetish.
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sluttyheels
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Wed, Mar 24, 2010 21:31:47
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maybe you would like a female point of view?? i totally agree with the unfaithful thing... this fetish is a very personal thing and the trust factor is key to its survival and growth... take away the trust and you destroy the relationship you have built up. you had a great relationship on all levels but u werent satisfied with great shoe play/sex and your wifes legs and heels... you had to have more, so whether you just took pictures or went further it doesnt matter, you broke the trust and you are being punished for it... how long this will last is totally up to you, only you know how your wife thinks and what to do to get back in good books... surely its worth it to try?? as for your condition, i dont know what restrictions or pressures this puts on your relationship but surely you wouldnt stay with someone you are unhappy with just to get a free nursemaid?
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asdf174
Premium Member
Posts: 546 |
Wed, Mar 24, 2010 22:32:15 |
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I think Nikki_Heels and Sluttyheels have given you the best advice. To add on a little to it a little in addition the the trust violation your wife found out you were taking voyeur shots of women in heels you know some women may find that disturbing/creepy which could be another reason why she is thinking its unhealthy. But to answer the question that was asked and I hope my opinion is not to lengthy lol. But I don't think we're sick just simply because we have a fetish. The only time I think the fetish becomes a problem is when it becomes the only thing you see, the only drives you etc..... for example I like high heels, I love high heels, would love a gf that wore them a lot, but its not the main thing I look for. High Heels are just a bonus and a pleasant and fun hobby for me. Though they really turn me on a lot I would give them up if I met a special person that wanted me to give them up for whatever reason (though I've been single for two years and would just settle for having sex LOL.) but anyway. I like to think that I have some kind of control over my fetish like that and I'd like to think that hopefully I marry because I'm in love with who the person is not because of what she wears. . But then I met someone like this guy (at least I'm assuming it was a guy) yesterday I had someone who found my name on a yahoo shoe fetish group, IM me out the blue. I'm always open to talking about high heels with anyone who wants to chat but I had just got home from work and was really on the pc just to check something real quick, but he sent me a message and I responded. The whole conversation was pretty much just this person asking me if I wear heels, do they turn me on, do they make me hard etc... just really annoying really. Like I said I'm always willing to talk heels but I hate it when people just want to get off you know? Then this random person who hasn't even introduced themselves to me yet demands for me to pull out my cock when I say no he just says BYE and that was it. This person didn't introduced themselves to me, or anything like that didn't even want to talk about high heels just wanted to get off (and it kind of pissed me off.). But anywho the point I I'm trying to make is I think in this case I think the person had the fetish too bad and when it gets like that I think its time to take a step back and revaluate things.
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aresmanjr
Member Profile
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Thu, Mar 25, 2010 20:33:11 |
Very good points. I have difficulty understanding the trust issue as they were just photos. Should I also not look at other women who pass by in heels? I certainly wouldn't mind if she posed for another guy and I have entertained thoughts of her ending the photo session with a fuckfest. Yes, I triggered the situation, but feel that she used the nuclear option in response by shutting everything down. I don't understand how a woman can turn off her sexual self for ten years at the flick of a switch. Oh well, water under the bridge.
If I were ever to start over, I am convinced that I must find a lady who enjoys wearing stockings and heels as part of everyday life. If her default mode is to slip on a pair of heels, perhaps she would not be so susceptible to radical change. When I see a lady in the grocery store in stockings and heels, she is sending a clear message about who she is on the inside. In other words, who she is inside...her inner qualities, are manifested on the outside in the form of stockings and heels. The trick is not to mention a word about the fetish until after I have observed her natural state and checked her closet. By putting my fetish in the open initially, I ran the risk of her changing to make me happy, while remaining spring loaded to return to her default mode if stress entered the relationship. What a fine game of chess!
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sluttyheels
Member Profile
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Fri, Mar 26, 2010 19:53:46 |
i dont think u really get it do you? you hurt her... badly by the sound of it and so now instead of dealing with it you are off on a fantasy imagining a new partner and all the fun u can have with heels etc... you had all this, you had the fantasy and you blew it big time... what seems a trivial act to you, taking pictures of another woman, is a huge betrayal to your wife... doesnt matter if this makes any sense to you at all... if you want to save your marriage and get back what you have lost... you will have to swallow your pride and stop thinking you are in the right and a victim in all this... and put her first... simple as that.
as for the question do i think you/we are sick... thats easy... NO :-)
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aresmanjr
Member Profile
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Fri, Mar 26, 2010 21:14:23 |
I realize that I omitted the time line. The change was in mid 1999. For the last several years I have tried everything in the book. Even spent many hours with a counselor. The situation was even a challenge for the female counselor. The traditional advice when couples have problems is to go back to when times were good. I would LOVE to take this advice, but she will not go, having convinced herself that our first years were misguided. Yes I fucked up badly, and have tried for a decade to mend the situation. I suppressed my fetish and sexually for several years in order to try to coax her out of her shell. If I didn't care, I would have left years ago.
Oh well, ALS will provide a solution in a while.
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