sluttyheels
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Sun, May 31, 2009 14:03:29
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what do you regard as cheating on yr partner? and how do you rationalise it yourself? do you regard shoe sex as cheating? its not actually sex but as its not with your partner do you see the shoes as a masturbation tool? would you go to another to get the shoe sex if your partner isnt willing? if so how would you think of this other person, who provides what u lack at home?... this should be interesting.....
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asdf174
Premium Member
Posts: 546 |
Sun, May 31, 2009 16:23:35 |
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To me cheating in terms of physical sex because there is emotional cheating is engaging in anykind of sexual act with another person behind your partners back w/o their consent or approval. (I know some people have open relationships.) I think masturbation can be a healthy sexual act the only time I see masturbation being wrong is when it is getting to the point where you have some big porn collection and are masturbating more then having sex in your relationship. Same goes for shoe sex. To me shoe sex is just an act of masturbation nothing wrong with it in itsself though Don't know what to say about people posting pics of it without their partner's knowledge and stuff like that though. and when it gets to the point when you are focusing on the fetish more then your partner I think it may be time to put on the brakes.
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ShoePollution
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Posts: 67 |
Mon, Jun 01, 2009 06:43:05
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My quick answers: Masturbation, porn consumption, and sex with an inanimate object of any kind is not cheating. If the person I'm with thinks it is, then I find a different person to be with.
My looooonng answer...
Cheating is a relative term. The terms of every relationship “contract” are different, and each partner has their own end of the bargain to uphold.
In my opinion cheating is permissible by one partner if the other has done something to “void” the terms of the contract. The really important thing is that everyone is up front and honest about what they expect and about what they're willing to be part of as well as respectful of what their partner needs.
Example: My girlfriend knows about my fetish, and while we're dating is more than willing to participate. We get married. A year after we're wed she no longer has any interest in satisfying my foot and shoe fetish needs. I attempt to talk to her about this, but she simply wants nothing to do with it. To me this constitutes relationship false advertising. I was honest and up front about my fetish. I was led to believe that my foot/shoe needs would be met. I attempted to resolve the issue. At this point, her actions have voided our agreement. Divorce would be a logical step, but if there our other factors, i.e. kids, then I feel cheating would be justified as long as it was discrete.
Example two: I am up front and honest with my girlfriend about my shoe masturbation and porn habits. It's not her thing, but she doesn't mind it as long as her emotional and physical needs are being met. I like her in all other ways, so we keep dating and eventually get married. After five years of marriage we've grown distant. I resent her for not wanting to participate in my shoe action (which she was up front about) and spend all my time in front of the computer with shoes I've bought on eBay. All the while I'm ignoring her non-fetish physical needs as well as her need for emotion intimacy. She suggests counseling: I refuse. Again, if divorce is not an option, then she has every right to cheat. I wasn't honest with myself about being okay with a partner not into my fetish, and ruined things in a fit of selfish resentment. She entered the relationship under my false pretenses and has every right to get her needs met elsewhere.
Essentially it boils down to honesty, respect, and what sex advice columnist Dan Savage calls GGG.
Quote: “GGG stands for 'good, giving, and game,' which is what we should all strive to be for our sex partners. Think 'good in bed,' 'giving equal time and equal pleasure,' and 'game for anything—within reason.”
If we could all be a) honest about what we want b) respectful of what our partners want and c) as GGG as we can, there wouldn't be any reason to cheat.
Unless you're swingers. Swingers play by a different set of rules entirely.
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riftzone
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Wed, Jun 03, 2009 20:31:53
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I think most people would adjust there moral stance to suit the situation they may be presented with, as the old saying goes " a standing cock has no guilt". Be interested to know how a women may feel about it all.
What does cheating mean? Is just meeting another person cheating or does it need to get sexual before its in the league. Is shoes sex the same a full sex? well i think it is yes, but i could go for shoes sex with another women but would not maybe go for full sex, I'd see that as more personal i guess
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prodigem
Hot! Member
Posts: 26 |
Wed, Jun 03, 2009 23:13:45
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Perhaps because I view the shoes are such a personal declaration of sexuality, I think I would be hurt if my wife offered her feet or shoes to somebody else.
With that said, while I admire and even lust after another woman's shoes, the few times I've actually "borrowed" a pair of shoes to use for my own devious desires, I've felt horribly guilty for and have no real desire to do again.
Now, if my wife was willing to put on the other person's pair of shoes... would that be considered a threesome?
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sluttyheels
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Sat, Jun 06, 2009 22:59:15
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wonder what the partners and wives would think?? and if it was reversed what would men think if their partners or wives were having shoe sex with another man... would u be jealous? or think it a turn on?
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riftzone
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Sun, Jun 07, 2009 20:39:07
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So from a women's point of view what would you think? My wife know i chat with others and shes fine with that, anymore and shed cut my balls off LOL
I think the idea of my wife letting another guy use her shoes is more of a turn on than i thought it would be, i would feel less keen if it were herself and not the shoes!! As said i think we will all change our point of view to suit our purpose if it gets what we want. Human nature i'm sure
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what a shock!
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Sun, Jun 07, 2009 20:54:26
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Opinion. Everyones will be different, as probebly the oxford english dictionary discription is not appropriate to everyone.
To me, cheating would constitute any form of sexual activity with another person in any way shape or form. Shoe worship isnt sex, but if your other half is getting off on it, then its cheating. If someone is just doing things with objects like shoes etc, then of course not - its just wank material. Example, my BF's good friend is a stunning girl, but they have a strange relationship like cousins, he doesnt fancy her but thinks she dresses impeccably. She gives him her shoes when theyre done, so how do I feel about that? OK I guess as he has explained to me long ago, the object isnt anything on its own, nor is a girl without shoes. He knows shes pretty and likes her shoes for that fact, and knowing what she gets up to in them. If that prevents him cheating physically then I say fine, go for it. I know her and she's lovely - so there is also no deceit going on.
To me, cheating only occurs when in personal sexual contact with someone and I will stress - that the other person does not know about. So if he went to her and wanted to worhip her then I would be pissed! But then due to how they feel about each other that wouldnt happen so im fine with it.
You then have internet cheating. Is talking sex with others cheating? Physically no, mentally - debateable. But again, if your other half knows, as my bf and I do this, then no. If my bf went to someone else for anything to do with shoes etc, then yeh sure. And im sure if i had someone else play with my feet then it would be cheating.
But as I say, that just how I feel
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riftzone
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Sun, Jun 07, 2009 20:59:57
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a female friend told me that she found a quick one night sex stand was less personal than an internet sex chat.
Her idea was that with chat you need to get to know the person more than you do if you just have sex once. Internet chat meant she got attached to the other person more than she otherwise would.
Interesting point of view i thought
RZ
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what a shock!
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Sun, Jun 07, 2009 22:05:00
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Warped more like! haha. I do not doubt for a single second that I understand how she feels about internet cheating, and getting to know someone etc. But you are only knowing one part of someone, although it is none the less bad. However, thinking that internet chat is worse than physical sex it totally mental if you ask me! I dont think many blokes would agree with that. After all, women are less inclined for one night stands and are attracted to males physically less than the other way round. Meaning for example, most blokes find women in lingerie, outfits, SHOES and other physical attire appealing, women however of course have some similaritites like the steretypical fireman or police uniform or something, but predominantly, not all - but a lot of women are more turned on by knowing someone.
Therefore a one night stand would mean that the female was perhaps attracted to the personality too - in which case is even worse than knowing someone on the net.
Of course, the woman could be one of the ones who would just jump on someone cos she thought he was fit, in which case its still worse than internet chat, but I think you get the point im making. Im waffling now so I'll shut up. haha
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asdf174
Premium Member
Posts: 546 |
Sun, Jun 07, 2009 23:11:55 |
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Sometimes I think about all that drama and I'm happy I'm single. LOL. Kinda sorta anyway I being in a relationship would still be cool. Make me feel less pathetic and all. But it does come with its own drama. Like people cheating and stuff.
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